As I share with people the fact that I just had a breast reduction, the answer I get frommost women is, "You should give some of that to me." However, I do come across the occasional sane woman who has either had the same "problem" or know somebody who has.
You'll have to know that my sister Ashley stayed the night a few nights ago and we went downstairs to my room so I could get dressed. I was going through my closet when I came across that section. You know, the section of I'm keeping these because I WILL fit back into these one day section. I grabbed a pink silky cami with spaghetti straps. I stared at it for a moment, started to peel it off the hanger, and proceeded to daringly put it on. I was scared. I was nervous. Before when I would put this shirt on the lace triangles that are supposed to accentuate the breast area would accentuate my chest....the part above my boob...and even above my nipple. It looked ridiculous, hideous, absurd. So to the back of the closet it went for that "one day". Today was that day. As I pulled it over my head and grabbed the cami to pull it down, I looked and it accentuated my breasts! The lace triangles actually went around my boob the way it was intended. This was BIG...no HUGE!
I recently went shopping at a local retailer for some dresses for my daughter. I walked by the women's clothing section peering at the cute spring tops that I could never even imagine fitting into. You see, with the size of my breasts, I was forced to shop in the plus size area. I felt embarrassed and really despised the idea of shopping altogether. When you have siblings that can still shop in the junior section and you have to shop in the plus size section, shopping is a nightmare and you would rather be holed up in an outhouse with the flu. Nonetheless, after I filled my basket with my 2-year-olds new infatuation with "pretty dresses", I ventured to the world I have learned to avoid for sake of my ego: the JUNIORS SECTION!
I perused the area and saw so many cute tops. In my mind I thought What the hell am I doing in this section and are people looking at me wondering the same thing. I picked up a cute Candies spring top. I went with the large because my boobs are still a great size and I have a little to lose in the abdomen area ( I won't lie). I proceeded to the checkout line and made myself aware of the return policy "just in case" I couldn't fit.
I got home, showed my husband my new purchases of pretty dresses for our daughter and my daring purchase of this Candies top. I immediately started to strip so I could try this thing on. I pulled it over my head, stuck my arms though, and pulled it down. It fit. My husband said I looked amazing. I was near tears. You see, unless you have been in my shoes of shopping in the plus size section for about 8 years just because of boobs, you cannot imagine the feeling of relief, satisfaction, pure and utter bliss.
I imagine that this new chapter of my life holds great things. I imagine me running virtually pain free. I imagine wearing cute tops both for pleasure and working out. I imagine being able to play with my daughter without wondering of my back is going to go out....again. I imagine being able to teach to my hearts content, without having to sit because it hurts to stand too long. I imagine bathing suit tops. I imagine being seen for me and not the protruding mountains that I feel helped define me.
My sisters say I portray confidence that I used to have that has been in hiding for years. I feel like a new woman. I feel amazing and beautiful. I feel like I can conquer the world.
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